Showing up is sometimes just as important as the actual event.
Tuesday night reminded me of this. My kids had a swim meet. My dad left work early to drive three hours each way to watch his three grandkids swim. As any swim parent (or grandparent) knows, you wait hours just to see your kids swim for mere seconds at a meet.
Minutes before the meet began, the lightning horn blasted. Twenty minutes of waiting led to the horn blasting again. And then once more. I felt so bad that my dad had driven all that way only for three straight weather delays. So I bought him a hot dog, french fries, and a Diet Coke at the snack bar. My dad looked happier than Michael Phelps' mom at his first Olympics, especially after I went back to the snack bar to get two packets of mustard for his hot dog.
As we sat at one of the tables, my dad ate his hot dog—happily. I took in the moment with my dad. Everyone was getting frustrated by the delays. He was not upset in the least. The mustard stains on the corners of his mouth disappeared every time he smiled.
It was an important lesson for me as a mom in the midst of so much chaos. Three kids. And a job at the height of my busy season. Yet, despite the delays that night, just being there for my kids sent a message to them unto itself. Heck, my dad taught me that every day of my life growing up. He never missed one of my tennis matches. Ever.
As I think about the many highs and lows of the admissions process, I am reminded of how helpless parents sometimes feel. I often hear comments from them like, "So much has changed since I applied to college" or "I don't know how to help my kid." But showing up matters.
So, taking your kids to visit colleges means showing up. My dad did that for me and I have the best memories with him from those trips. It means being by their side (if they want you there) when they click the "submit" button on their applications or even holding their hand when they check their admissions portal when decisions are released. There will be arguments, tears, and memories you want to forget. But showing up will give you many more memories to remember.
RELATED READING: What I Learned on College Visits With My Daughter
The swim meet got canceled after the third weather delay. My dad gave each of the kids a big hug and he got back on the road for his long trip home. Showing up means something when you have kids and grandkids. As parents, we aren't always perfect. But if we show up for our kids when they need us and even when they think they don't, they will grow into adults who care more about being present for others than who "wins" that day.
READ MORE: 10 Truths for Every Parent About the College Admissions Process
Show up. You will never regret it. And, if things aren't going as planned, buy a hot dog and make sure to get the mustard. It is hard to wipe off, but that's when you know memories have been made.
