Back in the fall of 1993, I was miserable. I felt like a fish out of water. Seemingly no friends. And, my roommate actively excluded and ignored me. I was a freshman in college and I was convinced I was going to transfer.
I didn't tell a soul. Everyone around me seemed to be having the time of their lives. I just put my head down and kept my doubts to myself.
It's only been a few weeks since college freshmen across the country moved into their dorms. Even though everyone looks like they are thriving, many are not. They are having doubts too.
Last week in my blog, I mentioned that I don't entertain "transfer talk" until I know the student is truly not where they are supposed to be. It takes weeks, months, and sometimes an entire year to know if a college isn't a good fit. For a college freshman who is already convinced they want to transfer, give it more time.
But if you still are feeling those doubts, here is what you should do—it might surprise you.
1. Immerse yourself in a few meaningful activities on campus that support your academic interest or a passion of yours.
It seems unnecessary. Why invest in a place you don't want to be? However, it will not only force you to give this college a chance, but also build up a list of things you could mention in a transfer application if it comes to that.
2. Impress at least one professor in the fall semester.
If that professor lines up with your potential major choice, that's even better. You will need them to write a strong letter of recommendation if you decide to transfer. If you don't transfer, that professor could become a mentor for you in college and beyond.
3. Spend as little time in your dorm room as possible.
Sleep there, get ready there, and that's it. Dorm rooms are tiny, isolating, and limiting. Do your work in the library, cafe, or somewhere else on campus. Work out at the gym. Eat every meal outside of your dorm room. Even if you are alone while you are doing it, you will be actively putting yourself out there for the world. Good things happen when you do.
4. Buckle down.
Get the best grades you can. You are in college for a reason and it's to get an education. Having a strong first semester or first year of college sets you up for success if you stay there or transfer.
RELATED READING: 5 Things to Consider If You Want to Transfer to Another College
5. Talk to people about how you are feeling.
Whether it's your advisor, another professor, a parent, an RA, or anyone you trust. It is important to express how you are doing so that they can help you.
READ MORE: 6 Truths About Moving Your Kid Into College
By the time I finished my first semester of college, I was convinced I was in the right place. I didn't want to transfer. I was happy exactly where I was.
No college is perfect. Sometimes focusing on transferring makes you believe there's something better out there. But oftentimes, you are exactly where you should be. You just haven't realized it yet.
