We moved our oldest, Sophie, into college this week. She is a freshman. What a day.
I am an expert on college admissions. I am not an expert on what happens after that. My own college experience was 30 years ago. A lot has changed.
A few things don't change, though. Like, how students feel when they move in and start college. It is the same as it ever was. Moving Sophie into her dorm room and the ensuing day proved it.
Here are six things that stand the test of time:
1. The students who help on move-in day are spectacularly efficient.
We pulled up to the dorm. They immediately unloaded the car for us. I went to park my car before heading up to Sophie's dorm room and everything was already there. There is nothing else in the world that will deliver what you need with such speed and objectivity like this group of students.
2. Having a roommate is one of the most important experiences any student can have whether they get along with their roommate or they don't.
You learn to compromise. You learn to share. You learn how to navigate difficult situations in tight quarters. Not everyone will have a perfect living situation. Whether it's a roommate problem, a dorm room issue, or a dorm that is not ideal, getting through it teaches young people that they can do difficult things.
3. Do a pre-orientation trip if that's your thing or you are worried about meeting new people.
If you are a fairly social individual, you may not need to, though. You will most likely meet plenty of students your first few days of college. Friendships take time, though, with or without a trip.
4. It is up to the student to put themselves out there to get something in return.
Any student who is struggling for a day, week, or even a semester needs to step out of their comfort zone. I don't entertain "transfer talk" until I know the student has tried everything—socially and academically.
5. Saying goodbye is emotional, or it can be.
I saw plenty of students with lots of tears and plenty of students without tears. Sophie was "without tears." She was truly excited when we left. That doesn't mean she won't miss us, nor does it mean that everything is perfect. Everyone handles emotions a little differently, and at different times.
6. Don't be fooled. Everyone has doubts at the beginning.
The confident students have as much apprehension as the seemingly less confident ones. Arriving at college is a mind game. It doesn't matter how prepared one is, everyone needs time to find their footing.READ MORE: 5 Truths From the Mom of a Recent High School Graduate
I left Sophie feeling optimistic and a bit nervous too. As much as I just want everything to be perfect for her and every student, it is in these paradoxical moments when we grow the most. Just like any new experience, we must be patient. Unloading a car for move-in is one thing. Uploading a new chapter, like college, is more complicated. And that is why we do it.
